 |
My arms before (left) and after (right) pole
Weight on left: 136 lbs; on right: 146 lbs |
As with most people, I've suffered with body issues for most of my life now. My body type is short and thick boned. My thighs like to hang onto fat (thunder thighs galore.) It's how I'm shaped. It's very different from bodies portrayed in the media. I've come to realize this and appreciate it. I love my hips; I love having curves. Despite that, I still battle insecurities of weight gain.
Once I hit puberty I put on a ton of weight. Despite the fact that I was fairly active, in my teens, being on several performance teams, and despite being pretty muscled (we joked that we could beat the football team at push-ups), I was soft over my muscles, and I hated it. I got to 143 lbs and cried. My costumes and pants started giving me muffin top (though looking back I probably needed the next size up to begin with.) I didn't eat terribly. I ate when I was hungry, but none-the-less the weight kept creeping up. I have never been able to get a handle on my weight issues. Was I overweight? Not really, I was in the normal range of healthy, but I fell for the ideals of the media, with regards to body weight and became insecure (waaaaa! I'm not a model!)
