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Sunday, February 16, 2014

Our femtastic pole brothers - breaking the barriers

This is a Pole Dance Blogger Associations blog hop. This topic for February is "pole dancing and men."

When I first started pole, I was a recent college graduate, and decided to treat myself to a pole class. Of course, being naive about pole, I had the same misconceptions about pole that most outsiders do. I was quite surprised to that pole is so much more.

When I was signing up for my first class, I noted that the studio website said that classes were female-only. At the time I didn't ponder the reasoning much, and just figured it was to keep people away who wanted a "show." My pole journey went on without thinking about the restriction, until one day our instructor asked us if we would mind if a male joined us in our Burlesque class. My gut reaction was, "of course I don't mind." The class started and I thought nothing of the male dancing along side us. He was there for the same reasons we were, to learn an art form.



We are all human with the same emotions & needs, yet we are all individuals with different goals & desires. We are now in a time where gender lines are blurred. In reality, gender identity has been evolving for a long time. Through it all, we are all human.

There used to be a time when women couldn't vote, when baseball was male dominated, when women were told they had to stay at home. The feminist movement came along with the goal of "gender equality." Suddenly women were voting, women started working, and men even starting taking on the role of stay-at-home-dad and house-husband. What used to be male-only are now open to all human beings. Why should it be any different for pole? Pole is definitely a female dominated sport, but it is such a beautiful art form that we should share with all genders, not unlike ballet, which has been a female dominated sport, but where males are allowed and actually in demand!

Belly dance is a female dominated dance form, created by women, for women, but the belly dance community has moved past that ideal to embrace males as well. I remember seeing my first male belly dancer and was completely blown away by his performance. Not only was he a wonderful dancer, but his facial expressions drew me in. Though I do not remember his name, I will always remember him and how was then that I realized belly dance was for all of us to enjoy.

Chinese pole, from which pole fitness evolved from, has been practiced my males for a very long time. Yes, the style of Chinese pole is different from pole fitness, but really, they are the same apparatus. Why is it that a male can practice on a rubber coated pole, but if the pole is metal, then it becomes a debate? A male performing on aerial silks is fine, but put him on a metal pole and suddenly it's taboo? Yes the two devices are different, but the similarities are vast as well. Why is one okay and not the other? Why is it okay for women to enter a male dominated sport, but not vice-versa? Why is it okay for females to take on a more masculine personality, but it's taboo for a male to embrace his feminine side? These are the questions that finally got me to where I am now. I no longer see participants as having male roles and female roles, in life, and in pole. We are all human.

I understand the idea of having female-only classes, especially for beginners, as they are often unsure of themselves. My hope is that these individuals will gain the confidence in themselves to show others how great they are! To break down the fear of poling with men. To embrace the joy of male and female polers alike. We are all human.

We have such a vast array of people that, in a way, describing someone as solely male or female isn't fitting. Yes, genetically those are typically considered the two main genders, with variations containing fewer or extra chromosomes, but is it correct? Gender roles are becoming a spectrum, in addition to gender identity. We all have "masculine" and "feminine" in us, the degree to which varies from individual to individual. I dream that one day we can all freely express our varying masculine and feminine sides, without judgement. Humans are such complex creatures, and no two are alike. Even identical twins have different personalities.

One of the things I love most about pole is it allows me, a woman, to build strong musculature, which would previously have been considered a more male thing, while embracing my femininity. Pole is an outlet for all of us. Men should be welcomed to embrace their femininity. Pole is the perfect place for a male to do that. Pole has so much versatility that the dancer can make it their own. It allows us to go as little or as much into our femininity as we like. That is the beauty of pole.

Societal pressures are as high as they have ever been. With certain ideals for men and women, it can cause insecurity with oneself. Pole is often regarded as a way for women to gain confidence, feel sexy, and to feel empowered. In a world where "slut-shaming" is common, it is nice to have a place where sensuality is encouraged, without judgement. This option should be available to men too. Some of my favorite polers are male. They break down the barriers of gender roles and I have nothing but respect for them. The varying styles I've seen from male polers is diverse: ballet (Bob Zamora), sexy (Philip Deal), acrobatic (Vladimir Karachunov), ninja (Kenneth Kao), the list goes on.

The sensuality of pole goes above and beyond sexy movements, and is something both men and women can benefit from. It is the gracefulness of the poses; how a person can become one with the pole. The pole and the dancer work together to create a work of art, not unlike a painter and the paintbrush. The emotion that emerges from a dance is sensual. The beauty of pole and its effect on the dancer is sensual. How it captivates the audience is sensual.

Pole is a place where one can release their inhibitions. Stripping themselves of society's "rules," we push boundaries. We build friendships: sisterhood, and brotherhood. We learn from our differences to help better ourselves. We dance for joy. We dance for sorrow. We are human.

Allowing a male to express his inner femininity is a beautiful thing. We should all rejoice in the bravery of our pole brothers. They are femtastic!

Want to read more blog hop entries?

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